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Home >>> Meditations >>> Images of Recovery
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Images of Recovery
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Images of recovery
Recovery is a process of healing and growth. But it is a process that can be very confusing. Sometimes there are so many changes going on at the same time that we lose sight of where we are. At other times we become so entangled in the long and laborious process of change that we lose sight of where we're headed. We can get so confused that we can't figure out what 'recovery' is for us. We can't picture it in our minds. We can picture dysfunction easily enough. We have learned dysfunction backwards and forwards. We know it well. But what is recovery anyway? What do we hope to achieve? Where are we headed?
Fortunately, recovery is not some set of new insights about the human condition. Recovery goes back as far as human history. God has always been in the business of bringing change, growth and healing to people who are struggling with the most difficult of life's experiences.
The Bible is rich in powerful images that have long helped people of faith to understand the process of recovery. This first set of meditations examines some of the biblical images of recovery. We have been encouraged by the variety and depth of these themes.
May you be encouraged in your journey as you reflect on these powerful biblical images.
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Recovery as Being Found
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Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.'Luke 15:4-5
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It is easy for us to lose our way. We may start off with confidence. We think we know where we are and where we are headed. And, then, somewhere along the way in life we get lost. We find ourselves alone and we don't know where we are. We get confused and disoriented. We don't know how to find our way back, how to get 'on track' again.
Fortunately, God pays attention. God notices that we are lost. And, because of the great value he sees in us, he sets out to find us. God searches for us. God pursues us until he finds us.
When God finds us, most of us expect him to say: 'Where have you been? I've been looking all over for you! Can't you follow directions? What's wrong with you? I don't want to have to come back out here again to find you. Try to pay attention from now on!'
But there is no hint of scolding, shaming, yelling or blaming in this text. When God finds us, he is full of joy. He picks us up and carries us home. He celebrates.
God pays attention. He notices when we are lost. He searches for us. And he celebrates when we are found. Recovery is the gift of being found by God.
I was lost, Lord.
Alone. Disoriented. Confused. Afraid.
You found me.
I expected blame and rejection when you found me.
I expected you to be full of rage.
I expected you to see me as an inconvenience.
But you greeted me with joy.
With celebration!
Thank you for finding me.
Amen.
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Recovery as Being Transplanted
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I pray that you, being rooted and established in love may have power . . .to grasp . . . the love of Christ. Ephesians 3:17
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We all have root systems. Roots are life-lines. They seek out and drink in water and nutrients. And they provide stability in times of wind and erosion.
Unfortunately, many of us are rooted in the soil of shame. Roots in this rocky soil become bound. They cannot sustain growth. They are not able to provide nourishment or stability.
Recovery for many of us is like being transplanted. It is the process of allowing God to first pull us out of the parched and rocky soil of shame and to then plant us in the soil of his love. In the rich soil of his love our fragile roots can finally begin to stretch, grow and take hold. It is a soil in which real nourishment and real stability are possible.
But transplantation is not a simple matter. No matter how gently God pulls us up out of the soil of shame, there will be trauma. And sinking roots in new soil will feel like an unfamiliar and risky adventure.
As our roots sink deeper and deeper in the soil of God's love, however, we will begin to experience growth that never could have been possible in the soil of rejection and shame. We will become 'rooted and established' in love.
My roots are in poor soil, Lord.
They do not nourish.
They provide no stability.
My roots are bound, Lord.
Transplant me.
Give me grace-full soil, Lord.
Sink my roots deeply.
Give me stability.
Nourish me.
In your love.
Amen.
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Recovery as Being Nourished
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I have stilled and quieted my soul;like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me. Psalm 131:1-2
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A weaned child in the psalmist's culture is a child who can walk and talk. It is a child who for many months has been nourished day and night at it's mother's breast. Every time the pain of hunger came, the child enjoyed the powerful combination of having its stomach filled with warm milk while being held in a close, intimate embrace. Messages of love and valuing flowed into the child's spirit while the life-sustaining milk flowed into its body.
Love and nourishment are the soil in which security grows. A weaned child still needs to eat. But, it is not frantic about its next meal. It has learned that it's needs are important, that they will be noticed and that they can be met. Because of the love and nourishment it has received, a weaned child has grown secure.
Recovery is like being loved and nourished until we can be weaned. We don't grow out of having needs - our goal is not mere self reliance. Rather our goal is to experience love and nourishment. As we do so, we gradually become less frantic about our next meal. We grow. We heal. Eventually a new kind of security grows in us - not the security of toxic self-reliance, but the security that comes from nurture. We become less frantic, less fragile. Our souls become stilled and quieted.
Nourish me, Lord.
Nourish me with your love.
Calm the frantic feelings within me.
Grow a sense of security within me.
I want to be able to sit quietly.
Like a weaned child.
Nourished.
Secure in your love.
Amen.
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Recovery as Growing Up
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Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work. Ephesians 4:14-16
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"Why can't you grow up?!" Parents sometimes express their anger and impatience with their children in this way. But, it is not a shameful thing to be a child. To acknowledge our child-like-ness is to acknowledge our limits and our dependency. It is to make room for wonder, trust and joy in our lives. If that is what it means to be a child, then we need more of it.
But there is also a sense, as in this text, in which to be child-like is to be immature or unstable. It is a good thing to grow-up. Not because it is shameful to be a child, but because growth is part of God's plan for us. Being "tossed back and forth" is an exhausting way to live. We need to find some way to live without being "blown here and there".
Growing up is hard work. The reason for this, as this text suggests, is that growing up is closely connected with learning to speak the truth. Honesty is a central dynamic of growth and recovery. Increasing our capacity for honesty is not an easy process. But, as we speak the truth in love, we will experience some dramatic changes in our relationships. We will find a more intimate relationship with God - we will 'grow up into Christ'. And we will also find ourselves 'joined and held together' in a community of faith.
Help me to be a child, Lord,
Help me to face my dependencies and my limits.
But, help me to grow up as well.
I'm tired of being tossed back and forth.
I want more stability than being blown here and there.
I want to have stable, healthy relationships
with you, and with others.
So, build within me a capacity for honesty.
Help me to speak the truth in love
so that I can grow up.
Cause me to grow into a strong sheltering tree
Planted securely in the truth of your love.
Amen.
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Recovery as Pressing On
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Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Philippians 3:12
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Some days the desire to be 'finished' with recovery is almost overwhelming. It is such an attractive thought. To be 'done'. It sounds so good. Done. Finally. Please, Lord, I want to be done today.
But, we have learned something about our capacity for self-deceit. We have learned that we are not entirely in control of the process of recovery. And, we have learned something about the dangers of complacency. It can lead us back into denial, and toward relapse. There is no more dangerous moment for us that the moment we become convinced that we are all better.
Recovery is 'pressing on'. We have not 'already obtained.' We have not 'already been made perfect.' Tomorrow's recovery cannot be done in advance. And yesterday's recovery, although it has changed and enriched us, is not the same thing as today's recovery. Today's recovery can only be done today.
The process of recovery re-structures our lives in some very fundamental ways. We had learned silence, and in recovery we learn to speak the truth. We had learned not to feel, and in recovery we learn to feel. We had learned either not to need other people at all or to be excessively dependent on other people, and in recovery we learn to need other people in appropriate ways. These are significant changes. But, they are not irreversible changes. We can go back to silence, emotional numbness and unhealthy relationships. Recovery is necessarily therefore a new way of life. It is a daily pressing on. It is the day-at-a-time practice of the disciplines of recovery that makes it possible for us to continue to heal, grow and change.
Lord, you have brought me so far.
Thank you. I am grateful for all I have gained.
But, I want to press on.
I want to continue to grow.
I want to continue to learn.
Help me to press on.
Help me to do today's recovery today.
Help me to press on toward you.
Take hold of me with your love.
Amen.
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Recovery as Being Set Free
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Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he saved them from their distress. He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom and broke away their chains. Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron. Psalm 107:13-16
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Addictions and compulsions are a kind of bondage. Painful memories are also like chains that bind us. We try harder and harder to change. But sometimes the harder we try, the tighter the chains become. Recovery begins when we recognize that our bondage is too great for us. None of our powers will break these chains. Either we will find a power greater than our ourselves to help us, or we will stay in bondage.
Many people find the idea of powerlessness to be very troubling. We want to be competent and self-reliant. And, many of us have had people attempt to 'rescue' us in ways that have increased our shame and self-contempt. So, why should we welcome the God-who-rescues? Won't he also shame us?
First, notice in this text that God's intervention is in response to a request. We do not serve a codependent God. He is not entangled in our compulsions. He will not rescue in ways that are shame-full. He knows that we need to be ready to be helped and that we need to cry out for help.
Notice also in this text that it is the God-of-unfailing-love who is our higher power. Because so many of us are convinced that God is vindictive, punitive and abusive, it can be terrifying in our powerlessness to focus on the power of God. We are sure that all of that power will be used against us. But the God-of-unfailing-love is not a vindictive, punitive or abusive God. He is a God-of-tough-love. That's the only kind of love that can be 'unfailing.' But he is not 'against' us. He is 'for' us.
Recovery is being set free by God's powerful love.
I was powerless, Lord.
I expected you to increase my shame and self-contempt.
But you are a God of unfailing love.
I expected you to use your power against me.
But when I called, you came.
You crashed the gates.
You cut the bars.
You broke the chains.
You are leading me out of this darkness and deepest gloom
into the light of day.
Thank you.
Amen.
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Recovery as Seeing the Light
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The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned. Isaiah 9:2
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We know what it is like to walk in darkness. We know what it is like to live in the shadow of death. But we also are beginning to experience what it is like to see. The darkness of denial is giving way to the light of honesty in our lives.
Of course, when you have lived in darkness as long as we have, the light can be painfully bright. We see the truth about ourselves and our self destructive behavior. We see the truth about our refusal of love. We see the truth of our brokenness. We see old pain. We see current behaviors that damage ourselves and others. The light dawns. It is not a pretty sight.
But God does not send his light into our darkness to shame us. The exposure may trigger our deep shame, but this is not God's purpose. God's light is like the light of dawn. It is a light that signals that something new is happening. A new beginning is possible. The light that God brings into our dark world is a light of hope.
Recovery is God's light coming into our darkness. The light exposes. We begin to see clearly the ways we have sinned and the ways other people have sinned against us. And the light provides hope. In the light we see the possibility for new beginnings.
Lord, your light hurts my eyes.
It is too bright.
I see too clearly now.
It is too painful for me.
Help me to believe that your light is not to bring shame
but to bring hope into my dark world.
Light of Heaven, embrace me with your warmth.
Heal me with your bright rays.
Give me life.
And hope.
Amen.
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